I made Larry Ellison say, "I don't know."
By Kevin Parker, editorial director -- Manufacturing Business Technology, 1/1/2005 12:00:00 AM MST
More often than I care to admit, I've dined out on the story that I once made Larry Ellison say, "I don't know." Actually, it's a bit more complicated than that. Three times I've brushed up against the billionaire head of Oracle Corp., the world's most successful database vendor and the second-largest seller of enterprise systems.
At an Oracle users' event in the late '90s, Ellison's scheduled press conference attracted several hundred journalists. Following the opening keynote, we were escorted to a smaller theater where Ellison awaited us onstage. He was in a mood to test the intelligence of the working press.
As we filed into our seats, he said, "What music is this?" referring to the canned background of violins and trumpets. Someone called out, "Bach." Ellison snorted. "Of course it's Bach. The question is which Bach?"
Once all were seated, one of the first things Ellison said was, "We now have software that can read and write English." A short while later he said it again. During the question-and-answer period he found occasion to repeat it a third time: "We now have software that can read and write English."
You know—or if you think about it, you'll realize—that the one thing no computer can do is read and write English or any other natural language. Language is too contextual to admit to any computer-driven quantitative analysis. Ellison knows this as well as anyone.
I raised my hand and asked, "What are the limitations of the software's ability to read and write English?" Ellison smirked, guffawed, and kicked his foot out to the side, responding, "Well, it does a pretty good job." He explained that the software, which came to Oracle as part of an acquisition of artificial-intelligence technology, could pare complex documents down to their essential statements.
As amazing as this is, it's a far cry from reading and writing. Ellison was just testing to see if he could slip this claim by a press corps that wasn't half as smart as it thought it was.
Another time, Ellison was the featured speaker at an i2 Technologies user conference. At the time, i2 was Oracle's partner for supply chain planning. At the press conference for about two-dozen journalists, Ellison went off on a tangent about how acquisitions in enterprise markets never succeed because it's impossible to effectively integrate solutions including millions of lines of code.
I asked, "Given the difficulties of integrating solutions, is it safe to assume that Oracle is developing its own supply chain planning solution?"
Ellison answered, "Yes, no, I don't know." Which is just about perfect, multiple answers being more obfuscating than no answer at all. Of course, Oracle today has its own supply chain planning solution.
Finally, one other time, Ellison was in Chicago and had lunch with about a dozen local journalists. Ellison's talking points that day included trumpeting an Oracle giveaway to academia. The journalists were a mix of trade magazine editors, like myself; and reporters from two big dailies: The Chicago Tribune and The Chicago Sun-Times.
Questions segued back and forth from, "What are the current prospects for the ERP market in Asia?" to "Mr. Ellison, do you believe in God?" No matter the question, though, Ellison in his answer mentioned the donation to education.
Ellison, before leaving, took the time to speak briefly with each reporter. We shook hands and went our separate ways.
